Home Away From Home
by Crystal Mizuka
Summary: A Holiday party at the infamous Tenchi house, the Gundam Pilots, and a really strange/hungry guest?


Home Away from Home  
  
By Rachel Goldstein  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters; they are the registered (and copyrighted) trademarks of Gundam Wing, Tenchi Universe, and Digimon: Digital Monsters. Mortal Kombat is a registered trademark of Midway. Playstation is a registered trademark of Sony. Zapmon and Rachel (myself) are my own characters and may not be used without my permission. Shiva is a real person and you must contact him for permission of his character.  
  
Authors Note: When I say 'tea' I mean sake. Why? Because in an episode of Tenchi Universe, Ryoko asked Tenchi if he wanted some 'tea'. Said 'tea' was in a wine bottle and when drunk made them both.well, you get the picture. Also, Shiva really does act the way he's depicted, minus the whole super-speed thing. He does live off of other people's food, he does eat an amazingly large amount of food (he eats more for breakfast that I do in two days), he never spends money, and he constantly sneaks up on you without you noticing. Oh and because he doesn't want you to get the wrong idea about his size (due to his large diet), he's 5'7" and 150lbs.  
  
  
  
It had been three months since I began my stay at Tenchi's house and two months since I had met the gundam pilots. It was two weeks before Christmas and everyone was getting ready for a party.  
  
****  
  
"Rachel, what's wrong?" said the familiar voice of my digimon partner, Zapmon.  
  
"Just thinking," I answered weakly. I had been away from home far too long.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"I wonder what my family is doing."  
  
"I'm sure they miss you, but you should help your family here and stop worrying."  
  
"Your right," I said. I got off my bed and got dressed for the day. Today was the day the gundam pilots were scheduled to arrive.  
  
****  
  
"Are you okay?" asked Sasami.  
  
"Yeah, why," I responded.  
  
"Because Ryoko was up before you today. Aren't you glad the gundam pilots are coming for the party?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Miya!" said Ryo ohki as she jumped onto Sasami's head.  
  
"Why don't you go to Washu's landing platform to meet them?" asked Sasami.  
  
"Yeah, why don't you," said Ryoko, "I still think you liked that guy Duo."  
  
"Who asked you?" said Zapmon as we turned and walked away.  
  
"Besides, I need to talk to Washu anyway," I said.  
  
****  
  
"Digi-armor energize!"  
  
"Zapmon, armor-digivolve to.Lightningmon, the Power of Friendship!"  
  
"I'm with you," I said, "Ryoko must be crazy."  
  
"Yeah, you punched Duo pretty hard when he convinced Tenchi to allow a victory party," said Lightningmon. We were on our way to the landing platform.  
  
"All we have this time is some 'tea'," I said, "so nobody should get too drunk."  
  
****  
  
"We're here," I said as we entered the radio tower.  
  
"Great," said Washu, "I have heard of several monster sightings at Tokyo Tower, and they weren't good.  
  
"Alright, we're on it."  
  
****  
  
We were back outside and our monster was heading our way. It was Metalgreymon.  
  
"Zapmon digivolve to.Zapdramon!"  
  
"I'll handle the big guy," said Zapdramon.  
  
"I'm here if you need me," I responded.  
  
"Dragon Storm!"  
  
"Giga Blaster!"  
  
"He's too strong," I said, "you need to digivolve again."  
  
The crest began to glow releasing its power.  
  
"Zapdramon digivolve to.Sparkmon!"  
  
"Dragon Cannon!"  
  
With that, Metalgreymon vanished and a weakened Zapmon was on the ground. I picked him up and went back to the tower.  
  
****  
  
"So, where's the party?" asked Duo.  
  
"I hope we don't have a repeat of last time," I said. Zapmon was attempting to hold me back. I was attempting to make sure he didn't have any alcohol on him.  
  
"I checked him already," said Heero.  
  
"Not since we left the colony," said Duo cheerfully.  
  
"I knew we should have left him behind," said Wufei.  
  
"Can't we at least try to get along?" asked Quatre.  
  
"No!!!" shouted Duo and I at the same time.  
  
"Okay," said Washu, "now that that's settled, let's go."  
  
****  
  
Using Washu's hover car, we arrived at Tenchi's house, which was now covered in Christmas decorations. The party began.  
  
****  
  
There were cookies, cakes, pies, ice cream, and many other deserts on one table and a turkey, carrots (for Ryo ohki), potatoes, and other good foods on a second table, and snacks on a third table. There were sodas, punch, 'tea', and other drinks on a fourth table. Heero and Duo began playing Mortal Kombat on Sasami's Playstation.  
  
"Alright!" exclaimed Duo, "I'm winning!"  
  
"Only the first round," said Heero.  
  
"I'm next," said Trowa.  
  
After Duo won the second round, Heero casually knocked out Duo. Trowa took his place on the game.  
  
****  
  
I went over to get a soda and noticed Duo slip something into the punch. I grabbed a soda and sat down on the couch.  
  
"Sasami," I said, "don't drink the punch."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Duo slipped something in it."  
  
****  
  
About an hour later my assumptions about the punch were proved to be right. Everyone who drank it was now drunk, including Quatre. Duo, Tenchi, Washu, Sasami, Zapmon, Ryo ohki, and I were the only ones who weren't. Heero and Trowa had given up on the game and were fighting each other. Ayeka and Ryoko were playing tug-of-war with Tenchi. Wufei was arguing with Kiyone and Mihoshi, and Quatre was having trouble standing up. I was still on the couch and Sasami was playing Spyro 2. Washu was experimenting with the drinks by mixing them together. Duo was, well.being Duo.  
  
"Go Sasami!" exclaimed Zapmon.  
  
"Beat that Ripto," I said as a piece of cake hit me in the face.  
  
"Got you," said a laughing Duo.  
  
Suddenly, a gust of wind came and removed the cake from my face. It was gone as suddenly as it had appeared. I would have wondered as to how and why a gust of wind would help clean me up, but I was more interested in revenge.  
  
"Oh yeah?" said I as I jumped of the couch and tackled him.  
  
Sasami turned around and started laughing.  
  
"Now we have two fist fights going," said Zapmon.  
  
At that I got up and went back to the couch. I had a piece of cake in my hand.  
  
"Here goes one more," said Duo.  
  
As he was saying that I let my piece of cake fly and watched as it sailed towards his face. However, before it could hit, that damn gust of wind came and took the cake away.  
  
"Huh?!?" said Duo and I at the same time.  
  
"What just happened?" asked Duo.  
  
"A gust of wind came and snatched my piece of cake out of the air. It had helped clean my face off earlier."  
  
"You wanna help me catch it?"  
  
"Sure, but how do you plan on doing that?"  
  
"Just throw another piece of cake at me when I tell you to."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Duo then proceeded to pull a small package out of his braid and attach it to the walls and floor. It was a web of see-through nylon.  
  
"Okay, throw it."  
  
I threw another piece of cake at Duo. As if on cue, the gust of wind came snatched it, only this time it collided with the web before it could escape.  
  
"Ow!" said our gust of wind, now an actual person.  
  
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" I asked.  
  
"Uh.well my name's Shiva and I was um.eating?"  
  
"Well, Shiva, if that is your real name, why didn't you just ask to be let in? And how the hell did you get in here to begin with?"  
  
"Well, I smelled food, so I looked for an entrance. I didn't knock because I didn't think you'd let me in. I mean, c'mon, how many people do you know that would let a complete stranger into their home just to eat their food. That, and I saw an open window."  
  
"To answer your question, Tenchi will let anyone into his home. And why not buy your own food?"  
  
"Well, that means I'd have to fix it, not to mention spend money, and I'm one of the laziest and stingiest, not to mention hungriest people alive."  
  
"Hungriest person alive huh? How much can you eat exactly?" asked Duo.  
  
"This much."  
  
Shiva once again went into "super speedy gust of wind mode" and came back a second later.  
  
"That doesn't prove anything," I said, "all you did was run somewhere and come back."  
  
"Look around."  
  
I took his advice and looked around. What I saw shocked me. What had once been four tables covered with food and drinks, was now completely empty.  
  
"I would have eaten the stuff in your cupboards and fridge, but I'm hungry, not evil. Oh, by the way, do you have any more?  
  
"No," said Duo, who was just as astonished as I was.  
  
"Awww, that sucks. Oh well, I'll just come back later when there's more." And with that, he left just as fast as he had come.  
  
"Now that was just weird," I said.  
  
"So, do you wanna play some games?" asked Duo.  
  
"Sure."  
  
We switched the game to Mortal Kombat again. Now it was me against Duo.  
  
****  
  
A few hours later it was past midnight. Tenchi had gone to bed hours ago and Kiyone, Washu, Ayeka, Quatre, and Ryoko were going to bed. Heero and Trowa were playing video games again. Wufei was watching the game. Besides them, Duo, Sasami, Zapmon, Ryo ohki, and I were the only ones who wee still awake. Mihoshi was still missing.  
  
"So, still planning to pound me?" asked Duo who was standing on one of the tables.  
  
"You bet," I said, "and here it comes."  
  
I let a piece of pie (Sasami had left some in the fridge) fly at him.  
  
"NOOOOO!!!"  
  
Out of nowhere, Shiva dived for the pie as if he were taking a bullet for the president.  
  
*CHOMP*  
  
He caught it in his mouth.  
  
"Whew, that was a close one," said Shiva, "I wasn't sure whether or not I was going to make it."  
  
"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?!?" shouted Duo and me simultaneously.  
  
"I told you I'd come back when there was more food."  
  
"Why do you always have to intercept my food? I mean, when Duo threw his, it connected, but when I try to throw mine, you catch it."  
  
"I wasn't on the lookout for a food fight so I didn't have the time to intercept his piece. However, I couldn't just leave it sitting on your face, so I ate it. After that, I was waiting for you to throw one at him, which you did. Because I was expecting it, I had the time to intercept it."  
  
"How exactly did you get ALL of the cake off my face?"  
  
"I mostly just picked it up off your face."  
  
"What do you mean, mostly?"  
  
Shiva blushed.  
  
"Uh.well.can I whisper it to you?"  
  
I cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"Alright."  
  
*whisper*  
  
"YOU WHAT!?!"  
  
"Well, I don't like wasting food, and there was some left on your face."  
  
"YOU.YOU..YOU HENTAI!!! YOU LICKED THE ICING OFF ME!!!"  
  
"Like I said, I don't like wasting food," said Shiva, who at the moment was backing up from a very angry, beet-red Rachel. Trying to maybe cool down my temper he added, "Uh.you taste good?"  
  
BAD IDEA.  
  
While it did make me blush for a second, it only added to my rage.  
  
*KICK*  
  
Shiva went sailing through the roof as I sent him into orbit.  
  
"You know," said Duo, "I almost feel sorry for him."  
  
Still in a rage, I glared at Duo.  
  
"Ah!! I said almost! I didn't say that I felt sorry for him, I said almost! Please don't hurt me."  
  
*KRACK*  
  
I knocked Duo out and then proceeded to play Mortal Kombat again.  
  
****  
  
Sasami, Ryo ohki, Zapmon, Wufei, Trowa, and Heero left to go to bed after another hour had passed. Mihoshi was still missing. Duo was lying on the couch with an ice pack on his head and I was playing Medevil.  
  
"Help me," said a high, whiny voice.  
  
"What was that?" I asked.  
  
"I dunno," winced Duo.  
  
"I'm stuck," said the voice again.  
  
Duo put a hand on my shoulder and pointed towards Washu's lab.  
  
"It's coming from over there."  
  
****  
  
We entered the room and in the containment shield was.  
  
"Mihoshi," I said, "what are you doing here?"  
  
"I must have fallen asleep," said Mihoshi.  
  
We helped her out and she went to bed.  
  
****  
  
It was 3:00 in the morning when Duo and I finally got off our sugar highs.  
  
"So, what's haven't we done yet?" asked Duo.  
  
"Sleep."  
  
Having said that, I went up to my room where Zapmon was already sound asleep. I climbed into my bed and went to sleep.  
  
****  
  
It was 10:00 when I woke up. I gout up quickly and got dressed. Zapmon was already gone.  
  
****  
  
"How late did you stay up?" asked Sasami.  
  
"Around 3:00," I answered with a yawn.  
  
Duo had fallen asleep on the couch.  
  
"This place is a mess!" exclaimed Tenchi as he came down the stairs, "What happened?"  
  
Fingers pointed to Duo and I.  
  
"Uh-oh," said Duo.  
  
"Run!" I shouted as I took off for the door.  
  
****  
  
"Well, it seems our plan to make them stop fighting worked," said Washu.  
  
"Yeah, but what about Tenchi?" asked Sasami.  
  
"He'll get over it," said Quatre.  
  
****  
  
"Damn, but that hurt," said Shiva, who literally was in orbit.  
  
"Now why'd she have to go and kick me? I mean, all I did was clean her up and give her a compliment."  
  
Suddenly, an old, de-activated, Cold War Russian spy satellite came into view.  
  
"Yay! Now all I have to do is grab on to it and I can push off of it to re- enter Earth's atmosphere."  
  
Shiva glided towards the satellite, grabbed onto it, and shoved off.  
  
"She did have a nice taste to her though," thought Shiva as he re-entered the Earth's atmosphere, "course, it could have been the icing. AH!! What am I thinking? I'm complimenting the person who gave me a shoe-print on my ass. She didn't look too bad either. WILL YOU STOP THAT!!! Heh, sorry. Damn it, now I'm arguing with myself. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I'm going back there to show her a piece of my mind, which is sure to scare anyone, or maybe I'll show her the sole of my boot, or maybe."  
  
****  
  
The End.?  
  
  
  
Comments/Criticism/Gifts: crystal_zapmon@yahoo.com  
  
Anthrax/Flames/ Shiva: shivabarnwell@yahoo.com 


End file.
